1. |
The Myth
02:58
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When the world is crumbling around
I fill the silence with a nervous kind of sound
As my dresser drawers stand as nothing more
Than the graves of the people I've been
As I float out into the light
All the families in their homes drone and collide
As I pass them by, I can't help but cry
For the myth of original sin
And the way that it rots me from within
In the meadow smoking easing my mind
With mindless chatter sought to soothe the time
We are all abreast facing nothingness
Now a well beckons something untrue:
With good faith, we might all be made new
For all the time I'll spend here untethered
I know soon the rain will soak down into my bones
For all the time we'll spend here together
We ought to try to brave the weather as one
But I've no one
No I am no one
I'm a tired flood
I'm a dimming sun
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2. |
On Implosion
03:33
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Drawn to the light, I am a moth
Flutter slowly, all I find
Is the alluring buzz in the night
That brings a frenzied fright
Flowing, a river's rage
I debate if I'll reach where I belong
All I touch, I erode
I'm afraid I'm doomed to implode
I can't ever catch my breath
My feet sliding that slippery slope
It all goes up in smoke
When the lines between the tangible
And the unseen erode
Rising high into the sky
I can't take another sleepless night
Let me soar, set me free
Be gone my sinner's grief
Howling a hound while faraway
Echoes drip in disarray
And they chill me to the bone
With fears that aren't my own
I can't ever catch my breath
My feet sliding that slippery slope
It all goes up in smoke
When the lines between the tangible
And the unseen erode
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3. |
Culpability
04:19
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I wish that I could twist and mold
To a brittle pine in fresh fallen snow
For centuries I would climb
To the blissful acres of still and lazy skies
But the harsh lights keep flashing in my eyes
So the pavement's my brave captain tonight
I wish that I could fall asleep
Among the ripples of the long-forsaken sea
Be swallowed in the maw of time
To wallow in my hollow pointless rhyme
But the harsh lights hold their rotary
For the vessels so far from home tonight
The harsh lights grip tighter onto me
Gritting "live long so you die when we say that it's alright"
And I am culpable
For the ways I'm confined
Now I'm untouchable
I'm in orbit 'round decay of the mind
I am culpable
I'm in orbit 'round decay of the mind
Yeah it's pulling me closer still
I am greying for the ways I unwind
I am greying for the ways I unwind
I am greying 'round decay of the mind
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4. |
Moon
04:13
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There are some days I can't keep my thoughts from running away
In a mudslide macrophagic neural rage to salve frenetic frames
Then there are some ways the moon shine frightens me cold
Despite where I stand, I'm a satellite stranded on an orbit all my own
We are molded of dust and sordid debris
With a touch of trepidation the thought of
My dissolving's got me ripcord clawing in a dream
Inertia's got me falling in perpetuum in all recursive thoughts
On and on it's dragging and the ennui's really nagging at me now
I walk in the rain
It's melting off all my peeling paint
It's left me raw and bored out my brain
I'm stuck on a train
Of causal cynicism thoughts:
I'm but a chemical reactor all the same
I'm not awake these days
Like a raft on the ocean,
I don't know where I am going
Now I'm fractal and broken
To your tides I am beholden
We are molded of dust and sordid debris
With a touch of trepidation the thought of
My dissolving's got me ripcord clawing in a dream
Inertia's got me falling in perpetuum in all recursive thoughts
On and on it's dragging and the ennui's really nagging at me now
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5. |
Hopelessness Stones
04:38
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Stumbling through my hometown
I see a mirage of my youth
Through the clementine fog
In a waltz with dusty dreams until dawn
Oh! How I'd trumpet them loud
Bask and boast in the sound
What a mess I did make
When I left you in town
Now, I've walked through the fire, fooled the funeral pyre
Into setting me free, but I was born a liar
I'm resigned to nostalgia's callous kiss
Oh my how we've grown
Oh my how we've grown
But I'm sleeping alone
Do you still live at home?
It's a desperate atone to ward off the unknown
I'm shivering cold due to restlessness bones
I'm shivering cold due to hopelessness stones
All up along the coastline awash
Lie debris. And they scowl at me:
"Settle every debt to be free"
So the chorus it roars
And that sea foam ensures
More and more by the hour
'Til in their shadow I am obscured
In a coil I lay
As an insect does cower
And I sleep all day long
In a waltz with dusty dreams 'til I'm gone
There's a longing I fear
For those days filled with hope
But the memories pale
And I just want to know
That all is forgiven if I cry
That remorse is enough to make us alright
Oh my how we've grown
Oh my how we've grown
But I'm sleeping alone
Do you still live at home?
It's a desperate atone
I'm warding off the unknown
I'm shivering cold due to restlessness bones
I'm shivering cold due to hopelessness stones
I'm dragging along a ball and chain for my wrongs
They flitter above
I can't reach them enough
Not enough for to hold
Listless, I'm inconsolable
With a shadow in tow
A foul tale I'd wish to unknow..
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6. |
Waterlogged Worries
03:27
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It might seem simple
What I'm trying to say
But I just want to go home
I fear I've lost my way
And now I'm at odds and stolid
Vanishing as I lay
I just want to go home
I feel I've lost my way
I trudge so lonely
Through the valley's cold
And now I yearn something wildly
For a hand to hold before I
Depart unholy into the "makers" fold
Console me
I just want to go home
I feel I've lost my way
A storm is raging
On the mountain's peaks
I know that ascension outward
Is arduous and bleak
But if we set sights on promise
And not the doubts we keep
We'll come to know home and
Loneliness will fade
I'm sorry to say but the heart it rains
Waterlogged worries are harder to drain
I just get so untethered
From my pendulum vent and wane
Center me
Center me
Anything
For all the ripples that surely emanates
From my uncertain center
A skeptic's sickle fate
I'm bound to
Seek, out of winter, asylum
Still, I wait until the sun sets,
To rise up and shiver out the ache
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7. |
Chameleonic
04:57
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Slowly sink into what's around
Friday evening party crowd
Carries on singing their joyful, hollow song
And they saunter out at dawn
While you're melting on the lawn
When all the busy-bodies dissipate
And you're all deflated
Hues abated
You're a mirror, now an empty slate
No mold to form to
No one before you
Chameleonic, incongruous days
I filter through my iterations
With a lazy malaise
For the drone
That hums incessant in my home
It pulls self-identity away
Take the path of least resolve
Unspooling through an endless hall
Fluorescence overhead
Flickers a sharp and constant thread
My ontology's a tangled mess
Am I my captain? Or a blur at best?
When all the busy-bodies dissipate
And you're all deflated
Hues abated
You're a mirror, now an empty slate
No mold to form to
No one before you
Chameleonic, incongruous days
I filter through my iterations
With a lazy malaise
For the drone
That hums incessant in my home
It pulls self-identity away
I don't know who I am today
Can you even be in the lonely shade?
I don't know who I am today
Are you if there's not a witness to watch as you fray?
A whisper out from the ether cries:
"Every permutation of your mind's just fine."
You are neither out of sight
Nor are you out of mind
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8. |
Until My Day
03:40
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No no no no no I do not
I do not want to waste away
No no no no no I will not
I will not die until my day
If it takes manual override
I will beat my chest to survive
If it's sink or swim for tonight
That watery grave won't meet my eyes
No no no no no I do not
I do not want to waste away
No no no no no I will not
I will not die until my day
For those of paltry, peeling paint
Like a trembling alder sobbing flakes
Robbed of breathe as you lie in wait
For the wretched march of the looming days
No no no no no I do not
I do not want to waste away
No no no no no I will not
I will not die until my day
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9. |
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We were born against the odds
Side-stepping the "grace" of God
A drop in the big blue sea
Overflowing with love and hate
Two poles: A Pendulum Ache
And I'm dizzied in between
Trailed only by my footprints in the snow
Cool breeze upon my cheek, I sneak a glance at a fig tree
One by one, I watch them fall away
Now the rotting remains litter the ground
All hope and fear and what we know and what's left to be found
The true fear lies in why I keep my quiet
For the victor and the vanquished
All are aligned in the end
The hallowed dollar
Only has worth by our hand
There's not much in this life
That I can see has any meaning
But if all is but impermanence guaranteed
Our pain too shall pass
Now it's not as much the wash breaking the beach
But a bargain-beggar buoy tethered to the tyrant sea
We are turbulent
We're tumultuous reverie
For the victor and the vanquished
All are aligned in the end
The hallowed dollar
Only has worth by our hand
There's not much in this life
That I can see has any meaning
But if all is but impermanence guaranteed
Our pain too shall pass
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10. |
I Am
02:36
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Shouldn't my bones creak just a bit less?
Shouldn't my eyes weep for the dead?
Shouldn't I wake with the calm of the dawn?
Shouldn't this prose leave me much better off?
Shouldn't my bones creak just a bit less?
Shouldn't my eyes weep for the dead?
All the while, my heart beats:
I am
I am
I am
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