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it seems that eventually
everyone's got their reason to leave

there's a tarnishing that creeps up
and threatens to seize everything
but you said that
the lavender keeps you at ease
well i haven't found my salve
for that mechanized whirring, whirring
"It's not worth it"
that beckoning breaking me down

i'm alone as i fade through the days
an irritant like a tv's static plague
i'm unspooling, fetal
all across the kitchen floor
at 3am. a phantom limb.
where you used to hold me
now i have grown into it
with ivy-lattice dissidence
that holds up my indifference
a grimy, sour shell
internalizing every well-meaning word
dissonantly. and eventually
it starts breaking me down

i wish i knew how
to not be at odds
with myself

imagine how that would sound!


from Summer Tour Tapes, released June 28, 2019


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The Nocturnal Broadcast Baton Rouge, Louisiana

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